life's like an hourglass glued to the table
by ReginaCaelum
Summary: These are the days that we made, in their dysfunctional, hilarious, passionate, beautiful ways. 30 themes for the weirdest group of people you'll ever meet. Mentions of TouRin.


Disclaimer: I do not own _Bleach, _blah blah blah...

Note: quite a few F-bombs dropped in this story, but nothing that warrants an M rating.

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><p><strong>i. ice cream <strong>

Karin sat up abruptly and looked around, lips pursed. She nudged the person closest to her, Keigo, who was drooling all over his pillow.

Nudge.

Nudge.

Nuuuuuuuuuuuudge.

_Well, there's a reason people say I have no patience. _Kick.

Kick.

Kickkickkickkick.

The brunette awoke with a shriek more befitting of a wild animal than a teenage boy. "What the _hell_, you psychotic—"

"Yeah, yeah, but I want ice cream."

He gaped. "You woke me up at," checked the clock, "four in the fucking _morning _to go get fucking _ice cream?" _

"Basically."

"Okay then."

And they cheerfully woke the others with much swearing and noise and all five went on a wonderful ice cream hunt in downtown Honolulu and watched the sun come up and all promptly fell asleep as soon as they got back home three hours later.

**ii. Toushirou**

He's an easily irritated individual if you don't follow these rules:

Call him anything but "Hitsugaya" without permission and feel his wrath

Don't feed him sweet things

Don't call him short (despite the foot growth spurt, people think 6'2 is short for some reason)

Do _not i_nsult Karin's attitude, Yuzu's cooking, Yachiru's hair, or Keigo's goofiness

He takes pride in his academic progress, so don't try to cheat off of him

Being compared to ice actually _does _hurt his feelings, although you'll never see it

**iii. massage **

"My shoulders hurt," whined Yachiru. They were lounging around Toushirou's house (read: mansion) as usual, supposedly doing homework but really not. "Stupid volleyball is _killing _me."

Yuzu frowned. "I'm sorry, Yachiru-chan. I would help, but I'm not really that strong…"

Karin rolled her eyes. "That's what you get for doing club volleyball _and _school volleyball."

Toushirou glared. "Like you'd care if that happened to me."

"Yeah but it's _me_. I don't care about _anyone. _Pleeeeeeeease Shirou-chan?" complained the rosette. She continued her pathetic pleas for another minute before warm hands gripped her shouldersand Keigo's amiable voice started chattering in her ear.

Smirking, Karin settled behind him and started rubbing _his _back and Toushirou, scowling, settled behind her and Yuzu sat in front of Yachiru and somehow it all became a circle. No one's shoulders hurt after that.

**iv. Yachiru **

Although she's usually the most upbeat person you'll ever meet, there are a few things Kusajichi Yachiru does not tolerate.

Making fun of her hair (because it is _so _natural, dammit!)

Whining about kendo class (Kenpachi Zaraki is nowhere as fearsome as his daughter)

Cheating (last person who did it ended up with a broken nose)

Gossip about her mother

Pacifists

Rude vegetarians

**v. mirrors **

The most embarrassing moment of Karin's life was her first time drinking, when she walked into Toushirou's full-size mirror not once, but twice.

**vi. band-aid **

Yuzu, who was probably the only _biological _child Masaki, always had a small first-aid kit on her, containing bandages, painkillers, antiseptic, etc. Karin told you to suck it up and Ichigo was homophobic.

**vii. defenders **

The girls all met each other various ways: Yuzu and Karin, obviously, were born together and were inseparable as…something…inseparable. Yachiru and Yuzu met when the former yelled at a group of bullies for the latter; Karin and Yachiru met through various sport competitions—somewhere between beating each other, losing to each other, and taunting each other, they became friends.

The boys were BFFs, as Karin liked to call them as she snickered shamelessly, since the day in second grade when Keigo bravely and stupidly called Toushirou's hair pretty. The white-haired boy took to the brunette immediately, but only after making sure no one would ever compare his hair to a unicorn _ever again. _

Toushirou and Karin met in fifth grade when she moved to Honolulu and picked up surfing just as fast as he did and he threw a private sulk fit about it. Two months later, he met the other half of the Kurosaki twins and the world was never the same.

When Toushirou introduced Keigo to Yuzu, they hit it off—a little too much for Karin and Ichigo's liking. But soon the brunette wormed his way into Karin's heart and Ichigo gave up when he realized that _both _his baby sisters liked the kid.

Yachiru and Toushirou kind of bonded over weird hair color.

Keigo and Yachiru fought almost as much as Toushirou and Karin but it was unspoken that whoever messed with one of them messed with all of them.

**viii. shadows **

Yuzu was never afraid of the dark because compared to her sister, a shadow is all she ever thought she would be. But when she met Keigo and Yachiru and Toushirou, she felt like maybe she'd maybe be more than just a shadow. Now she thinks they're more like the Subaru: without one, the whole constellation falls apart.

**ix. water **

Karin and Toushirou, being surfers, thrived in the water. Keigo and Yachiru were more fond of the land, seeing as you couldn't drown on it. Yuzu was somewhere in the middle.

Still, all five of them made a point to visit the beach as much as possible—because, "hello, we're in Hawaii, people. 'Nuff said,"—even if two of them barely swam. Karin and Toushirou flirted and competed between swimming and surfing, while Keigo and Yachiru played on the beach and Yuzu simply laughed and took pictures.

**x. salt **

Keigo gawked, Yuzu sighed, Yachiru was impressed and Toushirou muttered about various harmful effects as Karin drank an entire jar of pickle juice.

"What?" she asked petulantly as she tossed the jar in recycling, "I don't like salt."

Toushirou muttered, "And you say I don't make sense."

**xi. Keigo **

Things you should know about Asano Keigo:

While he's very easygoing, if you insult Yuzu it's all over

He's only a pervert to the girls he doesn't know

Cooking is a talent forever outside his reach

He excels at writing and isn't a bad student, but loves music more than academics

Toushirou has been his only best friend, even though they're as different as day and night

His friends have been more of a family to him than his parents ever have

**xii. singing **

"Guys, we should do choir!"

Yuzu's eyes bugged out for a minute before she recollected herself. "Yachiru-chan, I love you, and I say this with the most politeness, but—"

"The last time we heard you sing it took Toushirou a week to stop shuddering at any melody," said Keigo bluntly. Yuzu deflated slightly but had a small smile on her face.

The pinkette rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know I'm tone deaf, but that's why it's _choir_. You know, _lots _of people singing the same song? And anyway, it's _show _choir, and who's showier than me?"

"With that hair?" Toushirou sat his messenger bag down on the plastic lunch table and slid into the seat next to Yuzu. "No one."

Yachiru scowled. "Shut up, Whitey!"

"I think he was teasing, Yachiru…" Karin said, fighting a smile as she sat across from Toushirou.

"_Anyway_," interrupted Yuzu, always trying to avoid a fight. "You were saying, Yachiru-chan?"

"Oh!" said girl perked up once more. "Well, we should all do show choir! Like on that one show that's so popular…what'sitcalled…"

"_Glee?" _supplied Keigo helpfully.

"That's the one!"

Toushirou muttered, "It's _fiction_, you bimbo." Karin kicked him under the table. "Ow! What the f—"

"_Toushirou-kun," _Yuzu said serenely. He shut up.

"Sadly, I've already made my choices for next year's classes…" said Yuzu, echoed by Keigo. Both Karin and Toushirou gave her looks that implied, _over my dead body will I be caught within hearing distance of you in a closed room. _

Yachiru sulked. "Well, you'll come see me, won't you?"

With enough unspoken threats from Yuzu and guilt hanging over their heads, they muttered and grumbled but made it to the first concert of their school's show choir. They even gave her roses, although their ears were ringing for the next week.

**xiii. photos **

Every year they had a gathering. Well, they gathered together almost every day at various locations—mostly Toushirou's house, because he had the best food—but this was a _special_ gathering. It was Picture Day, where Yuzu (their unofficial photographer) put all the pictures she had taken over the past year in a slideshow and everyone watched. They had whatever snacks they wanted—"_Kami _bless rich people," Karin said—and squished onto Toushirou's couch and didn't make any noises except to laugh or sigh.

Some were taken at the beach—Toushirou staring at Karin in her bikini when he thought no one was looking, Yachiru snoring loudly under an umbrella, Yuzu playing volleyball with Keigo, both of them failing but having so much fun; or at school—the girls in their skirts and blouses, looking like models with their megawatt smiles while the boys always kept them close, Toushirou dozing in one of his advanced computers classes while Keigo sat next to him almost tearing his hair out in frustration; others in various competitions—Toushirou or Karin's surfing, with them always ending up with a top three medal, Yachiru and Karin playing with each other on the soccer field and against each other in volleyball, Toushirou scoring goal after goal on the soccer field with his four devoted fans always there screaming their lungs out; still others just wherever they hung out—Keigo sleeping with Hyourinmaru the cat on his face, Yachiru reading a young adult book, Karin and Yuzu filling out paperwork for their clinic, Toushirou playing on World of Warcraft for the _nth _hour, all of them watching some horror movie and screaming like little girls.

**xiv. gaze**

"You know," said Keigo one time when he and Toushirou were in computer class, "you should tell Karin you're in love with her."

Toushirou coughed on nonexistent something-or-other. "I—_what_?"

"Don't play innocent," the brunette replied, suddenly in one of his rare serious moods, "I've seen the way you look at her."

"It's the same way you look at Yuzu," said Toushirou bluntly. Keigo nodded thoughtfully.

"How the _hell _did we manage to fall in love with our best friends?" he wondered aloud.

Toushirou muttered, "We're so fucked."

**xv. hair**

Yuzu, Karin, and Yachiru were as unique as moonlight, candles, and blankets—that is to say, to the outside observer, they could never be friends. But they found their similarities, and over the years, they came to know each other inside and out better than their own parents: Yuzu learned to listen when talking to Yachiru but not be afraid to speak up; Yachiru learned to let Karin be but still care for her; Karin learned to be more expressive so Yachiru knew she was listening.

But there was one area they differed from each other more than any other: their hair. Yachiru's bubblegum pink bob got a bit longer in the time the Kurosaki twins knew her, but by the time they graduated high school, it was still no longer than her shoulders. Yuzu always kept her hair in a pixie cut to differentiate herself from the overly feminine image she otherwise embodied; and Karin let her roughly chopped black locks grow until they hung almost to her waist, although it was almost always tied back.

It made the three who they were.

**xv. Karin**

Like her best friend Toushirou, Kurosaki Karin is easy to annoy, but the main things that anger her are:

Purposely argumentative people

Height jokes (5'4 is _not _that short)

Cheaters

Bullies and people who don't stand up to them

Bad hair days/mornings

Computers that refuse to work

**xvi. hiccups**

Yachiru had the most hilarious hiccups ever heard. She literally squeaked while at the same time burping and every time she got a case of said hiccups the rest of her friends recorded it and mocked her.

With love, of course.

**xvii. fight**

"Why can't you just _trust _me for once, instead of trying to _fix _everything?" Karin screamed.

"Why can't you let me _help _you?" yelled Toushirou.

Outside Karin's bedroom, Yuzu sighed to Keigo. "How long has it been?"

Her brunette friend checked his watch. "Almost forty minutes. I don't even remember what they're fighting about; do you?" He shook his head.

"You think you're so fucking _perfect_ and so—so—much _better _than the rest of us because you're so fucking _smart_ but you're _just _the same as the rest of us, Hitsugaya; you're no better than me!"

"Well _you _have this goddamn hero complex and you're a fucking _martyr_ and have to take every fucking _problem _on your own and you push everyone away and it's so fucking _bitchy_, you know that!"

"I don't need to fucking lean on people like _you_ because I can take care of myself! You think because I'm shorter than you and not as fucking _smart _as you that you have to take fucking _care _of me!"

"I have _never _said I _have _to, you idiot!"

"That's right, call _me _the fucking idiot, because I'm so dumb so I _must _have to be taken _care _of."

"_Kami, _you stupid, blind girl; can't you see I _want _to take care of you?"

Karin paused in her attack, blinking rapidly and fisting her hands before snapping, "Don't try to distract me, dammit! You know that I don't need you _protecting _me like I'm some fucking damsel in distress—"

Suddenly there was silence behind the closed door. Yuzu frowned as it lasted for more than a minute. Gently turning the knob, she peeked in and started madly blushing at the sight of her sister and her best friend kissing passionately on her bed while trying to pull each other's clothes off at the same time. There were no sounds, but Yuzu could see where this was headed and praised _kami _her father was at a medical convention for the weekend.

Pulling her head back out, she said meekly to Keigo, "We should probably go."

**xviii. Yuzu **

Even as one of the most mild-mannered people you will ever meet, Yuzu has some basic rules:

Do not be judgmental, and if you are, keep it to yourself

Do not lie

Always say please and thank you

Try to see the positive things

Do not swear

Do not upset her sister

**xix. nervous **

"Are you _sure_ you're not sick, Keigo-kun? You're sweating." Yuzu asked worriedly.

Said brunette swallowed. "I—I'm fine, Yuzu-chan, but thanks."

Awkward silence filled the room before Keigo blurted out, "Will you go on a date with me?"

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><p>Aaaaand there ya have it: twenty nine (about) themes for the weirdest group you'll ever find in the <em>Bleach <em>universe!

Some notes: I chose Hawaii off a whim because I wanted to have a different sports environment than the typical soccer/basketball/football (ew) high school offers. TouRin is my favorite couple, so of course I had them, but Yuzu is kind of a package deal with Karin, Yachiru is one of the few characters who looks around Toushirou's age, and Keigo was kind of random...

Yeah I don't follow either.

Anyway! This may or may not be updated; if I get inspiration I shall try to continue with another set of themes but for now it'll be marked under complete.

This is the first time I've written anything like this, so reviews are _really _needed to make sure I did all right. So _please_, before you favorite or whatever, just drop something by.

Please.


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